Weight is creeping up again. I don't know why I bother. It's like eating healthy results in nothing other than weight gain. At what stage did my body decide it wasn't going to lose weight anymore. I'll keep plugging at it, but I just feel I'm going to be stuck at 69kg forever - or worse, it's just going to keep increasing by 100g and in 10 years time...

I know I should stop stressing about it, but I can't.

This morning - 68.6kg. Offically healthy weight range again! YAY!... although I'm sure it wont stay that low as I didn't eat dinner last night (I just wasn't hungry *sigh*). I'm trying to eat only when I'm hungry at the moment (not because I'm bored etc). It makes things very interesting!

Anyhow, good to see the scales decreasing!!!

My health journey.

Weight 69.2. Fluctuation because I ate too much yesterday. I got home and was just hungry so I ate fruit and nut and picked at the left overs from last night. Not a binge though, which is a total win.

I'm having lots of problems with my asthma at the moment - it's really impacting on exercise. I can't do as much as I used to. So annoying!!! Stupid asthma. I can still walk do weights etc, but nothing high cardio impact like step. I go to the class, suffer, have to stop for not being able to breathe. I really need to make a doctors appointment - it's been going on longer than a month and I thought it would have been gone by now.

In other news I'm wanting to see Ponyo at the cinema. I can't help but love Miyazaki. He makes such fabulous anime. It starts thursday so I reckons the Luke and I will go then (I'm taking the day off work). I think I know which movie I'll review for Japanese class now. YAY!

An update - I'm feeling good

I bought new scales so I can't be sure that the weight I am now is less than what I was... I'm pretty confident it is, because I have been really good with my points. I'm doing 20 points at the moment, although I allow myself a 2 point fluctuation (over or under). I tend to go over more, but I exercise so much it doesn't really matter too much if I go over by 1 or 2.

My new scales are awesome! They measure bone density, water (which I need, I hate drinking water), body fat, & bmi). LOVE THESE SCALES! They also like to remind me that my weight is a little high, which it doesn't hurt getting the reminder...

Anyhow, so the good news. My weight = 69kg! That's 200g over a healthy weight range. Woohoo! So happy... I think my first goal was reduced to 68.5 so that's what I'll aim for.

Weight to mini goal: -500g

Weight to GOAL: - 6kg

p.s. I changed my surname. YAY!

Gotta get those binge attacks under control. I can recognise them now and know that I'm not hungry, but I still have to try and stop myself. 1 day is not a disaster. Gotta remember that! I think part of the problem was being REALLY hungry yesterday. And not having enough food on me.

Anyhow, not weighing in today by choice. Feck - it would be really high!

Breakfast: cereal & milk - 2.5

Coffee - 2.5

fruit salad 2.5 (pineapple, banana, strawberries, mandarin, apple) (5.5/2= 2.5)

soup 2.5

salad 1.5

risotto 5.5

TOTAL: 17 - yep much better outlook. Infact I'll throw in some rice crackers (1 point) =18!!!

Thursday

Thursday - 69.6kg

So I weighed in. I was genuinely excited about weighing in today. I had checked my weight on my dodgy bathroom scales - it showed I was less than last weeks weigh in. So I decided to do it on the real wii fit scales. GAINED!!! 400g. DAMN IT!!!

So starting weight (AGAIN) is 69.6kg... I haven't been behaving myself so I shouldn't be surprised but it's just so annoying when the other scales had told me to expect a loss. Damn those bathroom scales.

So starting my daily weigh ins. I've set myself a few goals which should be easy to stick to. By next week (Wednesday) I am to have lost 1kg. By the end of the month, I plan to lose 2kg. I've got to get myself back into a healthy weight range. I am going to weigh myself everyday. I really think it might help me behave - well I hope it does. Fuck those bathroom scales in their shiny metal behind.

Today's menu:

Breakfast: cereal, milk, coffee= 5

Morning tea: chippies, carrots = 1

Lunch-Fruit salad: strawberries, mandarin, pineapple, banana (2.5). 100g yoghurt 1=3.5

Afternoon tea: rice cakes with vegemite (not sure of points)

Dinner: asparagus, pumpkin + risotto =6.5

TOTAL: 16+ rice cakes.

Obviously whatever I'm doing isn't working for me. I don't know what to do to make things work?

I'm not weighing in today. I know it'll be bad. I'm going to try the more natural life style again. I know, it's crazy. But I honestly think if I can make myself cut out the crap I may be okay.

Breakfast: GF ceral 2 & Milk .5 =2.5

Morning tea: coffee 2.5, chippies 1 =3.5

Lunch: fruit salad pineapple .5, mandarin .5, strawberries .5, apple 1, banana 1 + 100g of full fat youghurt 1 =4.5

Afternoon tea: carrot = 0

Dinner: Rice dish: veggies 1, cheese 1.5, tofu 2, rice 3.5 = 8

TOTAL: 18.5

I'll probably do Vegemite as well on rice cakes to make up the difference :D

EDIT: Going to weigh myself EVERYDAY!!! Fuck this yo-yo-ing. In a weeks time I WILL BE 68.5 kg (1.5 kilo loss).