First weigh in

Well I faced the music and weighed in. I really didn't want to. I couldn't quite believe how much I weighed: 69.7kg! That is most definitely NOT ideal. It's hard to believe that I put on so much weight. On my wedding day I was less than 63kg and that's not even 6 months ago. There are a few things I've been doing that I don't want to admit to that has attributed to this weight gain. I don't know why I was feeding my feelings, but I just couldn't seem to stop. I could eat a couple of chocolate bars in 1 sitting. Even when I weighed 75kg I didn't do that. Aaand I started binge eating, I could eat non stop for a couple of hours - I just can't do this to myself anymore. All I can say is that thank god for the gym because I imagine it would be worse otherwise.

Okay so my goals are as follows:

1. Fitting back into my clothing. Some of it is tight and some of it is unwearable! I want to get into those size 12 jeans from sports girl (I didn't buy them).
   
   
2. Be back at goal for my 10 year high school reunion in November. I don't want to be a chubber. I've always been a chubber so I need to be healthy to show all those people who were mean to me because of my weight that I can take control of my life - I know how much I like to be in control.
   
   
3. Japan! Japan! Japan! Well this is my ultimate goal. When I reach goal I am going to buy some crazy Japanese gothic attire in February (oh it'll be my birthday too and wedding anniversary - YAY).

Okay so in summary:

Current weight: 69.7kg

Goal weight: 60kg

Lost: 0kg

Next goal: - 2.2kg

GOAL: - 9.7 kg

67.5 kg I will buy myself something lovely. Oh I know, those tarot cards I have my eye on. I really want those. Right TAROT cards it is!

Today's menu:

Breakfast: (1.5)

yoghurt 1

strawberries .5

Morning tea: (5.5)

Carrot 0

Mandarine .5

coffee 2.5

pineapple .5
Nestea iced tea 2

Lunch: (4)

Corn soup 2.5

Fromaig 1.5

Afternoon tea: (1)

Popcorn .5

saltanas .5

carrot 0

Dinner: (7)

Stuffed capsicum

Dessert: (1.5)

Skinny cow ice cream 1.5

TOTAL: 20.5 points

save: -.5

exercise: step 5.5 points

Weekly tally

Tuesday saved 2 exercise 2.5 (2/2.5)

Wednesday saved -.5; exercise 5.5 (1.5/8)

First blog

I never know how to use these blogs. I seem to go through sparadic usage. All I know is that I need to get back on track before it is really to hard to do something about my weight. I checked my weight on the dodgy broken scales and I think I might be 70kg *sigh*. I really need to get back into control. I've been binge eating and that's just not me. I don't know why I do it - I just get the urge and just run with it *sigh*.

So a fresh start. A new blog to go with the fresh start. It will probably go through bits of boringness, but as long as the scales (and my clothing) start showing me love again, I should be ok. I've just got to stop struggling with myself really. Stop being so hard on myself and just start learning to say no again. Just force myself. Eat the healthy foods I like without worrying about the price tag.

So tomorrow I will be honest with myself and weigh in (I am terrified) but it is a necessary evil to get back into control.

My goal. Ultimate goal, is to being a skinny bitch for my high school reunion in November. I was a really overweight teenager (84-90kg), and I want to be a size 12 again when they see me. The real question is - should I wear a corset to my reunion *laughs*!!!