Monday

Well it would be nice if I could stop sabotaging myself. If I actually stuck to my points like I planned (and my menu) I would be about a kg less than I am now.

A few months ago, I started to binge eat. Chocolate, chips, ice-cream, biscuits, yoghurt, cheese, bread... and I'm talking one sitting in the space of 30 minutes. Then i would hate myself for it, but I get these urges to eat and I just go for it.

Well I had another one on Saturday night. Pringles, Maltesers and toblerone... yes I ate all that in the space of an hour. I just sat there and ate and ate and ate... by writing this down where people can see it, I can't deny it anymore. I just don't know why I started doing this to myself. I went 6 months without any issues and now I can't even last 2 days. Why?

Yesterday I ate 2o points which is good. I wanted to eat under 20, to try and undo the damage that I had done, but I couldn't last. I needed the whole days points value. Shame really!

I need to make that first goal more attainable I think (not that 2kg isn't attainable), it's just that I need to start feeling good about myself again). I need to know that I have achieved something no matter how small it is. So I'm setting my first goal at 68.5kg. Still not a healthy weight range, but I just feel that if I can get there, I might be able to start doing this thing properly again.

Anyhow today's menu:
Breakfast: 3
Banana
Toast
yoghurt

Morning tea: 1.5
mandarin .5
chips 1

Lunch: 2.5
Corn Soup

Afternoon tea: 1.5
Saltanas .5
Milko & redskin

Dinner: 8
Veggies .5
Mash 2.5
corn 1.5
quiche 2
gravy 0
skinny cow 1.5

TOTAL: 16.5
Exercise: 5
Walking 2.5
Pump 2.5